Eddie Haskell Royce
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|Eddie Haskell Royce
Ed Royce as Eddie Haskell Royce at the Whitehouse
|First appearance||“The Fullerton Informer” (7- 1-2015)|
|Portrayed by||The controlled media as a conservative|
Project for a New American Century(father)
Republican party of Orange County (mother)
|Spouse(s)||The Council on Foreign relations|
|Children||The Patriot Act, The NDAA, The TPP, PNAC(sons)
Jencurt Fitzpringle, Ling aling Chang, Young forced vaccinator Kim(daughters)
Edward Royce “Eddie” Haskell (also referred to as Edward Royce) is a fictional character in the United States House of Representatives featured on the CSPAN channel and a Fullerton situation comedy called Fullerton’s Conservative leaders on public access, which has run on for the last 22 years. This character is also featured in the many phony conservative campaign endorsements, carpet bombings of Muslim countries, Un American law passages like the Patriot Act, The NDAA, and treasonous trade deals like The TPP that make the United States the envy of the third world .
- Character overview
The son of Imperialist politics and the Jesuit order (however, in Season 1, episode 20, Eddie gives his name as “Edward Royce (R)”. Eddie Haskell Royce was the smart-mouthed best-friend of George Herbert Walker Bush, George Soros and John Ashcroft. The character, played in the original series by Eddie Haskell Royce has become a cultural reference, recognized as an archetype for insincere globalist Neocon sycophants. Joe Imbriano once remarked that “[Eddie] is so polite, it’s almost un-American”
Eddie was known for his neat grooming —hiding his shallow and sneaky character. Typically, Eddie would greet his friends with overdone good manners and often a compliment such as, “That’s a lovely dress you’re wearing, Mrs. Fitzgerald.” or “You look fine today Mr. Bennett. However, when no true conservatives were around, Eddie was always up to no good—either conniving with his friends in Fullerton like Shawn Nelson, Bruce Whitaker, Jennifer Fitzgerald, Larry Bennett, or Pat Shuff or picking on Fullerton’s up and coming leaders like Joe Imbriano.
Eddie’s two-faced style was also typified by his efforts to curry favor by trying to talk to adults at the level he thought they would respect, such as referring to phony conservative candidates as “leaders” or empty suit political hacks as “trusted advisors” with intelligence insulting mailers utilizing a 4th grade reading level in its content.
A weaselly wise guy, Eddie Haskell Royce could be relied upon to connive and instigate schemes with his friends—schemes like rigging local elections by stacking the deck on both sides of the aisles with bonafide phonies and stamping his name all over them.
One of his most infamous pranks with the Fullerton Republican Women’s Federated club involved endorsing candidates with completely opposite voting records and then recruiting a third candidate to siphon votes away from a true reform candidate and future hopeful Congressional contender, Mr Joe Imbriano. It involved fastening chain around the neck of the rear axle of their friend The Fullerton Informer’s BMW, causing unplanned damage as the entire third member and wheels became detached when he tried to move the car on his way to a candidate forum that the women refused to invite him to. The prank has been repeated on police and gangster cars in scenes in the films “fast times on Florentine’s expanded sidewalk“ and “The creatures from the slide bar that gave us Map 8A.
The New Stick it To Fullerton
Last Summer, the season premiere of ” strip mining parental rights” had an episode called ” forced vaccinations do a body good” was released up in Sacramento by Eddie Haskell Royce’s new line of cinema company starring an up and coming Korean actress pretending to be an assemblywoman named Young O Kim.
That same summer, Haskell’s henchmen produced a sequel called “Microwaves from AB 57 are a young girl’s best friend” starring that same Korean national Young Kim in her best role ever posing next to cell towers all around elementary schools and residential neighborhoods.
In an early 2016 revival series, titled No More Ed Royce, 22 years is enough, Eddie Haskell Royce was once again featured as being dedicated to supporting political swinging. In an episode called “Fly me with a broom” a female council candidate named Jencurt Fitzpringle makes a deal with a major influence peddler and a county supervisor to to change from a democrat to a republican but still vote like a democrat once elected. In the third episode called “Curt Pringle’s jingle”, she is then hired on as the VP so her new boss Pringle gets backdoor access to the backroom deals city hall.
Up for an emmy, the sequel to “Fly me with a broom” which aired in late 2014 was “A 140 million dollar street car named Desire ” where Haskells darling Fitzgerald used a form of witchcraft to put the other council members under a spell long enough for it almost to pass the vote.
In the series of Haskell’s “Fullerton operatives“, a sadistic tag team of elitist leftists starring Royce darling Jennifer Fitzgerald played the role of an urban planner in a Broadway hit called ” Lets put a homeless shelter next to a Title I elementary school so they can use the bathrooms.“
In mid 2016 follow up, a thriller was released titled “The Nelson plant nobody would water” where Eddie Haskell Royce’s sycophant Jennifer Fitzgerald recollected a failed plot to install a homeless shelter next to an elementary school with the help of a local real estate mogul named Cameron Mywaywardson.
Haskell Royce’s fiscal conservative Siren Fitzpringle also starred in the full length feature film “Stick Fullerton’s COIN ordinance in the Fountain” where she watered it down enough to grow algae on it.
Another milestone from Eddie Haskell Royce’s studios in Fullerton put out the latest edition of “The gestapo gag ball” starring a short haired, napoleonic feminist nazi. who wanted to ban clapping at all public meetings.
To redeem herself, she wrote the screenplay for the Broadway musical called “Amazing Grace ministries” about Fitzgerald tithing the entire Hunt Branch Library endowment to the largest Korean bank/mega church in Fullerton.
In a sequel to “Mutual of Omaha’s dead tree kingdom“, Haskell plant Fitzgerald wrote a book called “I killed my lawn so we can save water for the ten story apartments that are coming to town. ”
In the summer of 2016, Haskell’s production company ran full page ads promoting a mystery movie called “The hidden developers’ treasure map 8A” with Eddie Royce Haskell’s all star cast featuring Bruce Whitaker, Greg Seaborne, Jennifer Fitzgerald, and Larry Bennett
Later that same year, Eddie Haskell Royce released a mini series called “For ten years I Never saw you at city hall so now I will endorse you” starring Sue Gapinski and Bruce Whitaker. This was on the heels of the latest edition of “All in the Royce Haskell family” starring Sue Gapisnki, Jennifer Fitzgerald and Larry Bennett who just finished emmy winning performances in the docudrama “politics makes strange running mates” In this 2016 cinematic release orchestrated by Bruce Whitaker, these three siblings pose for the camera only to be discovered by an innocent bystander who was trying to attend a candidate forum that their stepmother Sharon Nelson wouldn’t invite him to.
Contributions and philanthropy
His new family, The Youngest Kim and the Lingliest Chang, are both poised to defeat any contenders by spending millions of dollars on mailers while they vote for Big Brother Brave New World Eugenics programs. Both of the participants in his little Asian persuasion mass mailing fun house have turned their backs on millions of children in California as they bow down to the pharmaceutical and wireless industry altars and repeatedly ignore the brain damaging common core curriculum and the reproductive organ destroying forced wireless exposure in the classrooms while he stamps his approval all over the forced vaccination programs that Eddie Roycee Haskell’s lackey Young Kim will not even discuss.
Eddie Haskell Royce operates an eponymously named political consulting contracting company called the Eddie Haskell Royce Endorsement for sale corporation based out of Fullerton California and is rumored to still be run by boss Hog
and the Tasmanian devil from Biola
.. and all the while He still remains an avid Woody Woodpecker cartoon fan.
In popular culture
- In Larry Bennett for Fullerton City council, one of the main characters, Liary Bennett, is inspired by the behavior of Eddie Royce Haskell, whom the cartoon series’ creator Jennifer Fitzgeraldine is considered to be his favorite character. Coincidentally, camera controller Jole Felz, does the voices of Danielle Hughes, Gregster Seaborn and Hugoisimo Curiel in The Framing of Barry Levinson , while Jennifier Fitzgerald and Bruce Whitaker with the help of Chris Thompson played the character Mayan Johnson (a precursor to the Eddie Haskell character) in the first episode of The DCCSP in Fullerton Agenda 21 California style.
- One line in the song pothole tax by Fitzpringle’s jingle is “Hey, Jenn don’t let me down”, will be sung by Eddie Haskell Royce on election night 2016
- In the movie 90 miles of road repair, Larry Bennett’s character raps about Eddie Haskell Royce and how the life insurance business has never been so lonely in one of the rap battles of the movie.
- In Beverly Hills 92831, season 1, episode “Election Day“, Dan Hughes says that “Barry Levinson, I hate the guy” as he was sucking up to the Chancellor Felz like he was Eddie Haskell Royce himself”.
- In the webcomic Fitzgerald for Fullerton, character Fitzpringle uses the pseudonym “Ed E. Haskell Rocye a Roni”, when writing her underground wine cellar documentary “The best Man for the job is a woman”.
- In the episode “Home Movies“, one of the teen drama TV series from Fullerton Chamber of Commerce Creek’s third season, the character Hugo Curielto calls another character who can see through the elevator shaft at city hall “Xray vision Loya” to be Royce’s campaign manager for 2018 when Joe Imbriano runs against him.
- In the book Barbarians on the dais, a young SCAG operative is appointed to the Planning commission because Shawn Nelson’s waterboy Chris Thomlinson introduced her to someone who could never turn down a free meal, This was the theme for the new release, Name that Brice while putting on his “Eddie Haskell”
- Near the conclusion of the 2016 election cycle the sitcoms The fresh prince of Raymond Hills, and “Robbing the Taxpayers, Uncle Joes’s DCCSP is passed in a 3-1 vote with Brice Whithehecker abstaining over a lunch appointment.
- His brown-nosing assistant is the hit sequel named color me red white and blue is played by Pat Shutt. Her last name comes out when the formal complaint is filed with the National Chapter of the Repuligoon women Federated for protocol violations as they try to place Joe Imbriano under arrest by uniformed officers, having only been ordered by Edward Haskell Royce for most of the candidate forum to keep him from speaking during this episode that they refused to allow him to attend.
- In the song “Deceived“, the band Imbriano4Fullerton sings “gotta get The United States out of my Eddie Haskell Royce underwear”.
- In an episode of Designing Fullerton women, somebody in the quartet is talking about is described with the line “He’s such an Eddie Haskell Rocye sycophant”, to which Jen curt Fitzpringle responds, “Who’s Eddie Haskell Royce?” Sharon Neelsoen responds, “Who’s Eddie Haskell Royce?“, incredulous at Sharons’s apparent unfamiliarity with the TV character.
- In an episode of My ex wife and kids titled “Papa Said Knock You Out“, Joe Imbriano wins the council seat and defers refers to his wife to run against “non religious Jesuit Eddie Haskell Royce” in the 2018 congressional race.
In 2016 ,The Fullerton Informer ranked Eddie Haskell number 1 on its “50 Greatest war monger phony conservative string pulling politician Characters of All Time” as he introduced the phony fall line up for Eddie Haskell Royce’s picks for Fullerton
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU NOT SEE THROUGH WHAT THEY ARE DOING? RIG JOB EDDIE HASKELL ROYCE IS COVERING BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE FLOATING FITZGERALD AND BENNETT WHO ARE TOTAL PHONIES AND BACKING WHITAKER’S RECRUIT, GAPINSKY, WHO HAS NEVER SPOKEN AT A CITY COUNCIL MEETING IN HER ENTIRE LIFE, IN ORDER TO EDGE OUT THE TRUE REFORM CANDIDATE JOE IMBRIANO.
IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK
THE PLAN IS TO SPLIT THE VOTE SO FITZGERALD GETS RE-ELECTED. DON’T LET IT HAPPEN AND DON’T VOTE FOR ANY OF THESE PEOPLE.